Are my feelings even justified...?
I feel like every time I'm in a down mood that it's just because I'm either needlessly worrying about something or because...well I don't know.  That's the problem.  My down mood isn't just being sad because something sad happened.  Sure there's usually something that triggers it.  But I don't know why I get down to the point where I feel like the work isn't worth the effort or that I should just give up or that it isn't worth it to even try (if I want to try something new), or if worse comes to worse that death is a better option than living (despite not wanting to be the one to take my own life...I'd rather it be some outside force).

I feel like I'm being very dramatic with myself.  No one's ever diagnosed me with anything and I don't think they ever would.  I've only had one moment where I feel like I could legitimately say I was depressed.  The rest of the time my moments of sadness just feel like maybe I'm needlessly being worried and/or just being my overly pessimistic self.  I never feel like my own emotions are justified for this reason.  I never feel like I can talk about it with people who are legitimately depressed because in comparison there's absolutely nothing wrong with me.  But I feel like I can't talk about it with anyone else because to everyone else, I'm just complaining about life.  And people hate it when others can't deal with life like they can.

I mean...I joined the depression group here.  But I rarely feel like I can go there and talk through what I feel.  Because everyone else there is dealing with actual depression.  It really isn't my place I suppose unless I got worse and did find out I had depression.  For all I know I'm just whining because I'm some whiny brat.  I dunno.

I hate generic self help, "learning optimism" type advice...
I'd like to say it isn't useful, but clearly people find it useful.  I was going to say that it wasn't useful, but I can't say that because it isn't true.

So what is it about this generic advice that I hate so much?

I hate where it's coming from.  It's coming from this place of false understanding.  Like you know what will fix the person who is depressed.  Or even the person who's mildly sad.  Most of all, this advice assumes it can fix the pessimist.  And while it might have worked for at least one pessimist down the line, I hate that this advice assumes that it will work for all. 

But most of all I hate that it does work for a lot of people.  Because it makes me wonder if some people just don't have the capacity to really be optimistic.  Maybe that's just the way it has to be for me.  And I don't like that.  But at the same time, I can't fathom viewing things in a manner that doesn't make sense for me.  I don't like being told that I need to force myself to recognize all the good things in life.  I don't ignore the good things I have or the good things that happen.  But if I constantly have to force myself to ignore problems and issues and have to candy coat them to make them seem better than they really are, what good is that going to do me?

The generic self help advice all says the same thing.  Yet it really offers nothing. 

"Put out kindness and you'll get it back".  You're working off the "karma" principle there.  And who's to say that karma really works?  Bad people do bad things all the time and they still get away with it until the day they die.  And unless you believe in some afterlife (depending on the type of afterlife you believe in) the bad they've done in life won't catch up to them.  Meaning you could also do good every day for the rest of your life and still not get any good back.

"Be optimistic".  Well...what does this really mean?  Does being an optimist mean that you ignore and/or candy coat the bad in life in favor of seeing it only as good?  Does it mean that you acknowledge that bad happens but choose to say, "well at least I have this"?  For me, the concept of optimism is the process of downplaying or ignoring bad things that happen because you want to see everything as good.  Well as a pessimist, I see good too.  I can still feel happy and acknowledge good.  But I'm not going to ignore the bad things or my negative emotions because that's not a realistic expectation.

"Don't be negative".  Well if you're a person who doesn't think negatively, this is easy for you to say.  You're naturally positive.  I'm not without my moments of positivity, but those come as a result of something.  Usually feeling like my hard work is acknowledge.  Or feeling like everything is okay in my life at the moment.  But don't give ridiculous advice like this or "stop thinking negative" without giving realistic and helpful advice about how to do it.  I've tried the forcing yourself to think positively.  You know how that usually end up?  With me crying because I know I don't believe the things I'm forcing myself to think.  The thoughts have no effect if deep down you don't believe it because you're not being proven that the thought/belief is true.

If this sort of generic stuff works for you, I'd love to know why.  For the time being, I do greatly dislike it.

Furries and the Media...
Sometimes I think this fandom gets their panties in a tizzy over something so minor.  It's amusing to watch people scramble about and worry about if the fandom is being portrayed in a positive manner on one hand.  But on the other, it's sad.  There's a sense of shame that comes with being a furry and everyone feels like they can't let people see the more shameful side of the fandom.  While understandable, the cost it comes with is great hypocrisy.

Furries often want people to really understand the fandom.  Or rather they want people to see the pristine, filtered version of the fandom.  But with any group of people, you have to take the good with the bad.  If you identify as an atheist, you have to put up with the obnoxious, self righteous members of this group.  Same if you're Christian.  And you can't separate yourself (as much as you want to) from groups that society already puts you in.  Being a furry is something that you choose because it's part of your interests.  And once you make a choice to associate with that group, then you've also made a choice to take the bad with the good.  You made this choice because for some reason the good outweighed the bad in your eyes.

But many furs get closed off and defensive when someone wants to make a documentary of them or show them on a TV show.  This defensiveness turns to hate when aspects of the fandom that people don't like are shown.  Not only will people hate the program but they will hate the people who "reveal" this aspect of the fandom to the public.

Ironically many of those who hate showing off the sexual nature of the fandom are those who partake in it themselves (usually in the purchase and making of porn).  Which begs the question of why they're so upset at it.  If you don't like it, you don't have to take part in it.  No one's forcing you to buy specific art, make specific art, or anything else.  No one's forcing you to associate with furries.  No one's forcing you to be a furry.  You made this choice on your own.  And when you chose it, you chose the bad that came with it regardless of if you like it or not.  It's not like your race or your gender.  You didn't choose those.  But when you choose what group of people you want to associate it, there's a level of weighing the good against the bad and then saying "yeah, the good is greater than the bad.  I can deal with it".

The incident that I can think of that always makes me roll my eyes and laugh is the whole Tyra Banks episode.  The way people were talking about it, you'd think this was an entire episode dedicated to making all furries look bad.  But in actuality it was two people who specified that this is something they do and not all people are into it.  And it was a less than five minute segment.  This is what you want to get worked up over?

What do you care that someone thinks ill of you?  Is it really going to stop you from associating with people that you like?  And if so, then you're weaker than I am, and this says a lot.  I'm not a very strong person at all.  Words hurt me deeply.  But even being called a zoophile for drawing an anthropomorphic Dragonair isn't going to stop me from drawing things I like and associating with people I find awesome.  Besides, being a furry isn't that important.  For the most part, it isn't going to drastically change your life if you decide you are or aren't one.  It's not like changing your spiritual beliefs, altering political beliefs, figuring out your it's base level being a furry is no different than being a fan of anime, sci-fi, comic books, etc.  You're associating with a group of people based on a similar love for something.

Furries need to stop being so distrusting of all media.  Here's the key.  You don't have to say anything that you don't want to.  Look up the topics for the interview.  Make sure it's something you'd be willing to talk about.  Also you can do your research on the series/interviewers and learn how good or bad they are.  And if they're known to cutting clips to make things seem worse or more "interesting" than they really are, then stay away from it.  If you believe that you're a good representative (IE: you don't draw porn, you don't have sex in fursuit, you volunteer and help to cheer up hospital patients and children, etc.) then you be the one to put the fandom in a good light.  Even if you are asked something about the sexual nature, don't shy away from it.  But be intelligent about your answer.  Don't lie and say that only a small minority are into it.  Admit that it's there.  But also admit that people ignore that not all furries are into these things.  That the basics for being a furry are an interest in the art of animals and anthropomorphic animals.  That's it.  Explain that the costumes are just that.  Costumes.  Maybe they're very important to the people who wear them.  Maybe they aren't. 

I'm tired of seeing furries be super secretive about the fandom.  People know it exists.  You can't change that.  I'm also tired of seeing furries be upset because people don't understand them.  Well you can't have it both ways.  The media is bad at times, but sometimes a show can be used for good.  And you might pass up good opportunities for people to really learn what the fandom is about if you want to keep it in the shadows.

I shouldn't get upset over something online, right...?

People say it all the time. 

"Oh it's just the internet.  Ignore it, accept it'll be fine."

But you know...just because someone says something harmful or stupid online doesn't mean the person on the other end isn't going to have some sort of physical or emotional reaction to it.  It's just human nature.  Whether that reaction is to laugh or shrug it off is one thing.  I consider people like that to be very lucky in some ways.  That they don't have or that they've learned to sort of tame that visceral negative reaction that most people have to harsh comments and insults. 

Honestly I probably wouldn't be upset right now and I would've forgotten most of what was said and laughed it off if it weren't for the fact that they are purposefully attacking a good friend with racist comments and unsavory language towards her art and herself personally.  And knowing that pisses me off more than anything.  I'm not one to automatically hate people.  But if there's any sort of person that I hate, it's a person who doesn't know how to behave and/or treat another human being.  Doesn't matter if it's online.  A computer screen doesn't give you a free license to he a dick to your fellow man.

Anger's probably my least favorite emotion to feel.  I'm just not generally a very angry person.  It's the hardest emotion for me to break and the one that my personal therianthropy reacts to the most (I think).  And while mentally feeling like an angry dog isn't the worst thing ever it's certainly an inconvenience.  I don't quite like that feeling of having a growl trapped in my chest and throat.  And outside of the whole therianthropy deal, I hate feeling a little overheated or having my body just tremble a bit in anticipation of...something.  What I never know but every time I get upset my entire body just shakes as I'm trying to reel in my personal feelings and what I would like to say in favor of something more...civil.  I'm not the sort to resort to swearing or name calling or personal attacks.  I want to try to be the person that takes the higher ground despite feeling incredibly angry.

But when my friend's being insulted and her only "offense" is that she doesn't draw perfect "anime" art because she's still practicing and she's not Japanese...and she's constantly being told that she's terrible, that her work sucks, and that she's a slut...she holds her ground with this person better than I would've in that situation.  But my natural tendency to want to be very loyal to my friends and those I strongly care for drives me to want to say something.  Anything...

That isn't right.  I don't care that you want to be a white knight for Japan.  The country of Japan can take care of itself.  In fact, some people there wouldn't like you for the sheer fact that you're American and admittedly not of Japanese decent.  I don't care that you think you're some sort of qualified anime expert.  Or that you're claiming a job title that you don't have.  You're a 21 year old white guy (or maybe just non-Japanese) from Virginia who legally changed his name to something Japanese arguing over animation!  If that doesn't scream "weeaboo" I have no idea what does.  And you have the audacity to insinuate that the rest of us are childish because you don't want to get off your high horse and recognize that you might be wrong.  Or that an opposing opinion can carry just as much weight.  Or that people can and will get better with their art with practice and proper critique.  That non-Japanese people can draw in an anime based style as well...

I could take the few personal insults jabbed my way.  I didn't like them but I could take them.  But that anger in my just grew after seeing a good friend get berated with unnecessary insults.  I guess ranting's the best I can do to get that anger out.  But it's still there.  I have no idea how to really deal with or get rid of negative emotions like anger except to hope that time just fizzles it out.  Still...hate feeling angry.  Even more so, I hate feeling angry because of words said online.  I feel like I really shouldn't...

Dear people ragging on TLC's Next Great Baker
For anyone who isn't familiar with the series, it's a baking competition show where competitors are working to earn a spot working at Carlo's Bakery.  If you seen the series Cake Boss, this is the bakery they're trying to work for.  For anyone who has been following the series, you know that one of the competitors, Wesley, was reported dead.  Cause of death was suicide.  And once this was reported and the show decided to continue anyways, people decided that the show was horrible.  That TLC was horrible for their actions, and that Buddy was a horrible person for breaking someone's dream and "driving him to commit suicide".

I'm saddened to hear that he decided to commit suicide.  I don't know what his mental state was that he decided to do such a thing and that's something that people who aren't suffering from very severe depression or mental distress will ever be able to understand.  That said, I'm not going to blame Next Great Baker for his death.  In fact his own mother doesn't blame the series for his death.  His mother said the show contributed to him living longer.  Don't forget he was also a Sergent stationed in Iraq for a while.  You don't know what he could've possibly seen over there that could have distressed him.  Maybe he was also dealing with other issues before he went on the series.  Maybe the series took his mind off whatever was distressing him, giving him something to focus his time and effort towards.  I'm not going to guess what it is.  I'm just not faulting the show for it.

The thing with shows like this is they're a competition to find someone qualified to have a high position job.  Whether it's working directly under Buddy in the bakery or like in a talent competition show, finding the next idol or big star, they're looking for who's the best qualified for the position.  No different than if you were going in for a job and being interviewed.  But if you're going to have your work critiqued harshly (like every last person who signed up for this show knew), you have to have tough skin.  And just because you're having your work harshly critiqued doesn't mean that they're tearing apart their dream.  It just means you have to work harder.  Any artist has their work torn apart like that all the time.  This is the difference between having knowledge of an artistic career path and something like working retail, accounting, or anything that is non-creative.  Harsh critique that can be misconstrued as "hateful" or "dream breaking" is commonplace in creative fields. 

Look, I'm going to agree with many of the things Buddy has said.  If you're going to work in a professional bakery with fresh ingredients to bake cakes from scratch, bake it from scratch.  Just because you have box mix there doesn't mean you can or should use it.  You're in a competition to be a baker at a well known bakery.  That critique was not unfounded and Buddy's frustration was definitely necessary.  Now what do you say about when Buddy placed Wesley's peach cobbler in the top 3 for that challenge?  Don't you think he was acknowledging Wesley's good work and skill for baking?  But of course...ignore the good.  Must only focus on the bad.  Have to come up with some stupid reason to hate a show right?

And when the rest of the team has reservations about the weakest link on their team and state that, don't you think he's going to take that into consideration?  And as he's been in the bottom multiple times, don't you think he's also going to take that into consideration too?

No doubt people genuinely feel for this man who felt so lost that suicide was his only option left.  I understand that.  But think about what you're saying and read up on the facts before you claim that it's the show's fault that he died.  It's the equivalent of saying that a person committed suicide because they got a critique on a drawing when they opened themselves up for critique.  There's probably some other factors that lead to that.  You can't pin the whole thing on a show just because you don't like the show. 

What is it I want out of life?
Furry, Fursona, DaggerLeonelli, Commission, Sombra
I suppose this is a question I need to ask myself more in order to really pin point what I think will make me happy.  Written out maybe I can easily figure out which goals are tangible, which ones should be discarded or saved for later, and which ones I no longer want to do.  I feel like I should've figured out all this stuff, but I haven't yet.  And maybe that's okay.  Not everyone knows what it is they want to do directly after graduating right?

1) I want to be a freelance artist.  I know what type of art I like to do, who I like to cater to, and who would buy what I have to make.  Mostly just furries, but it's still an audience.  And I want to add costuming to this too.  Not really full costumes but mostly tails, masks, possibly ranger/rider helmets, and small accessories like ears.

2) To start up a cosplay fashion line and do photoshoots for that stuff.  Mostly for myself just so I can have some fun designing some clothes that I think I would like to do.

3) To go on a convention road trip with my friends.  Probably starting in California and working our way back up from there. 

4) To be happy.  Generic I know, but it is a goal nonetheless.  And probably the one I want the most out of anything.

5) To teach myself to make a variety of costumes which includes different Super Sentai and Kamen Rider things.  Actually I just wanna teach myself how to make a lot of different things.  Like baked goods, charms, clothes...lots of stuff.  Just because I like making things.

You know...this comes up much shorter than what I thought it was going to be.  And most of it just kinda reiterates what other parts already state.  Maybe all this stuff is kinda doable.  I'll have to see.

I don't always like venting but...
Every now and then I need to do it.  Because to keep how I feel all bottled up doesn't help at all.  It's not gonna make me forget that I feel bad.  I'll just push it to the back of my mind because other than venting to random corners of the internet, I've got no one who'll really listen to me and no money to pay for a therapist.  The only people I have that would possibly listen to me are my friends and my family.  My parents (particularly my mother) has a bad habit of only half-listening to what I say so her retorts are often very unhelpful.  That or she doesn't take anything I say seriously.  My friends are just as jobless as I am and therefore their efforts to be comforting, while helpful, might not be what I really need to hear.  Plus I don't think they need to know all my innermost thoughts...especially the more depressing ones...

I hate venting because everyone's so tired of it online.  Everyone's tired of random people complaining about their petty troubles or feelings or whatever, but...

What is this nonsense we teach people about life being so precious and wonderful?  Why do people want to have kids and put children through this terrible experience of growing up?  For about 18 years of your life you're under the care of parents and they provide everything for you.  Sometimes you don't like it, but most times it's pretty good.  And even when you're in college, sometimes parents will help you out.  So pretty much until the time you're 20-22 you're taken care of.  And then one day...poof.  You're expected to be this independent person and provide for yourself just like that.  And you're expected to be okay with this.  And okay with the fact that there's nothing in life that actually prepares you for being (not becoming) an adult.

Well, I'm not.  I'm not okay with that.  Not in the least bit.  Why don't we teach kids the truth about adulthood?  We spend a good quarter of our lives learning the most useless pieces of things...none of which will help us survive life (except learning a language and basic...very basic math).  We don't ever tell kids that there's one day when you're just not a kid anymore.  And while we'll figure that out very easily, it's not a very nice revelation.  At least not to me.  It constantly depresses me.  Since I was about 16 I knew I didn't wanna grow up and have to deal with reality, but I also knew that it was quite inevitable unless I died...which I didn't want to do. 

So now I'm sitting here at 22, slowly getting more and more depressed about the prospect of reality.  Because you sucks.  It just does.  And this is truth.  I'm not happy I'm graduating in the least bit.  Because 1) I've just wasted 4.5 years in school for a profession I don't want, 2) I still have no idea what I want to do in life, and 3) I'm still terrified of the real world. 

I hate school but maybe I should just go back for something else.  It doesn't keep me from being in the real world but it sure puts it off for a little longer.  Problem is is that just puts more problems on my parents.  As much as they want to see me grow up and such, they (again particularly my mom) just don't seem to understand or want to understand how I feel.  And I'm sure most people would just say suck it up and deal with it.  As clearly every person is brought into the world against their will.  At the same time, every person deals with the same issue quite differently.  And the way I deal with facing reality is by turning it into something grim and scary.  Because to me that's exactly what reality is.  It's dark, scary, troubling, a hassle, and a curse.  It isn't something I would wish on anyone, not even my worse enemy.  And while there are clearly things I enjoy in the world, I could only enjoy them because I had the help to pursue them (making a costume, going to a convention, hanging out with friends).  Now that I'm gonna have to figure out how to finance all the things I enjoy (which are the only things I enjoy...) on my own, I think I'm not going to have much happiness of fulfillment out of life.

Panic much?  Sure.  But with very good reason.  Life dealt me talent in one of the most stressful and dare I say it, useless of all skills.  No one needs art.  Not.  A.  Single.  Person.  Everyone needs chefs, doctors, lawyers, one needs art.  And especially not digital art.  That's something you can only get if you can afford it.  It's a luxury.  Besides, the ability to draw/make music/etc. is always seen as something that others can oggle over but unless you're famous no one's gonna give a rat's behind about it after a while.  People will be awed by it for a second, but think about it.  Once you're an adult, no one cares anymore.  People are more awestruck if you're a lawyer or doctor.  Too bad that requires you to actually to do.

Bah...rant, rant, rant...whatever.  I'm just upset right now.  And I needed to write down what I was thinking.  Whether or not you wanna believe it all or read it is up to you...I just have issues with dealing with reality and facing the fact that there's no way I can really avoid it...

Tolerance vs. Acceptance vs. ??? v.2: Hypocrisy
Okay just elaborating a bit on something I wrote up yesterday.  Just the bit about hypocrisy.

You know, I understand that it's gonna be impossible to get people of different religious beliefs to really get along most of the time.  But by no means does someone get to claim that they're more accepting or tolerant of others then turn around and bash one religion.  The entire group. Not just a few people that they've met along the way or heard speak on TV or read in an article.  No.  The entire group of people.

Let's start this off with an example.  A pagan/spiritual forum that I used to frequent.  I'm always up for learning about new beliefs and I had a general interest in metaphysical stuff and in the beginning the forum looked like a good place.  Also admittedly I had my moment where I was rather bitter towards Christianity as a religion, but at no point did I really believe that all Christians were terrible people.  Anyways, back on topic.  After I got over my bitterness towards the entirety of the Christian religion, I went back to skim over this pagan board.  Every time someone would bring up that they're Christian and they just want to understand the beliefs of a partner or friend, one of the admins of the board would hurriedly jump down the throats of these people and counter with how much she hated Christianity.  How she blamed it for how her family responds to her beliefs and how she believes her siblings are being brainwashed by the beliefs or something like that.  Many others on the forum shared this sentiment.  To the point that they were very open with the hatred for Christianity.  But when people would be harmful towards pagan beliefs, they asked for tolerance for differences within beliefs.  For pretty much any other belief system.  And thus it seems like they were very open to many different spiritual paths when in reality they were open so long as you weren't Christian.

This is the sentiment that I see so often.  Even in the furry fandom.  Probably one of the most open and accepting fandoms out there.  If a person professes their faith, there's got to be at least one person out there who doesn't want to see them past that.  They come up with their concept for how this person will behave towards them without getting to know the person.  They don't want to know the person.  They just want to know their idea of who this person is.  That idea becomes a reality and they project that "reality" onto the real person.  When the real person tries to make themselves known, the opposing party is so closed off to the idea of seeing the real person that they continue to pretend that this projected reality they've created for themselves is the sole reality.

I have a giant problem with this.  Claim to be as tolerant or as accepting as you want.  If you don't back this up by your actions than the only person you're fooling is yourself.  People aren't stupid.  People can see beyond the facade.  When the mask shatters...when you screw up and say something that contradicts your stance as a tolerant person, people see that.  Some people will ignore it.  But most people will understand that you've made a hypocrite of yourself.  Now every person is a hypocrite.  And I split hypocrisy into two sections.  The first being people who do hypocritical things but learn from their mistakes and do their best not to repeat them.  They may slip up.  But these people are genuine about changing.  And then there's the second group.  The people who claim tolerance and acceptance but clearly don't behave like they believe this.  Possibly because they don't.  They probably say they do to appease everyone else.  Being a hypocrite is a bad thing and no one really wants to be known as a hypocrite so they pretend not to be without doing anything to fix their wrongdoings.  And often these people might be proud of their hatred.  They wear it as a badge of sorts.  It's sad really...

I'm tired of the word screw ups.  I'm tired of people pretending to be something that they're not.  I'm tired of the hypocrisy.  I wish it would all just stop right now.  But sadly this might be asking too much...

Writer's Block: Scents and sensibility
I think I'm gonna elaborate more on the writing prompt than leave it as is.  Because as is it's a really dull question.  Besides as a dog therian, my sense of smell is...probably my favorite sense (well other than sight because I obviously need that one to draw).  So I'll go into scents I don't like as well. 

Favorite scents are fresh cooked food (especially pasta, pastries, chocolate, some seafood, bacon...okay most food smells really good), flowers, rain on grass and trees and the overall scent of rain after it's done raining, my cat after he's had a bath (so basically his shampoo smells good).

As for scents I dislike...cigarette smoke is top of the list.  Very, very top.  I can't stand it.  If I notice a smoker walking down the street, I'll do my best to hold my breath when I walk past.  Aside from that there aren't to many smells I dislike 'cause I'll tolerate most of them.  I also dislike the smell of my cat's litter box.  Okay, that's about it.

This was probably the most pointless thing I will ever write. XD  Hopefully.
What is your favorite smell?

Tolerance vs. Acceptance vs. ???
I think people screw up the definition of these words all the time.  Especially when it comes down to the sexuality debate, but I'm not going to get into detail on that.  I can't successfully argue the points and quite frankly I really don't care what sexuality a person it.  So long as they're not cruel to their fellow man, they're all good people.

My point is to just figure out the definition and confusion between these concepts.  First there's "tolerance".  I concept that only exist when one does not like what another person does, likes, etc.  This is often confused with acceptance but after thinking a bit, I've come to wonder if tolerance and acceptance aren't more similar.  Many people would define acceptance as understanding, dealing with, and not fighting against things that you don't like.  But I'd argue that you can accept things but not like or tolerate them.  For example, if I don't like a specific TV show and I have a friend that does, I can accept that they like this but that doesn't mean that I'm going to like it as well.  Or people can accept that there are people who believe in ghosts but they don't have to like or tolerate that belief.  You can accept a lot of things without actually liking that it exists or people believe it.

Perhaps there's another word that people really need to use when they're upset that others aren't liking their beliefs or lifestyle or choices.  Because what people really mean when they say that is they want people to stop complaining about the way they decide to live their life.  The don't just want tolerance.  Or even for people to accept that this is the way they are.  They want people to love every aspect of them.  If they don't love even one aspect of them, they don't want to associate or be friends with that person.  Which in itself is a very hypocritical action.  You ask for total acceptance and love for who you are but refuse to give the same back to another person.  Don't ask for what you refuse to give. 

I don't know what others think on this, but I'm a bit tired of people mixing up their word definitions and asking people to believe or like something that they don't wish to believe.  If there's a better definition of what people are asking for I do wish to know the word for it.  I'm trying to describe it to the best of my ability so hopefully people will understand what I'm getting at.


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